by Victoria Anderson

I recently read that the secret to understanding a city and it’s people is to learn what is the Word of the Street? According to this author, every city has a single word that defines it and identifies most of the people that live there. For example, many may agree that the word for the cities below might be :

Los Angeles = Success

New York = Achieve

Vegas = Debauchery

The gist is that every city, and its people, have a word which defines it. For example, when many people think of New York they may think Achieve; or for Vegas one might think Debauchery or Sin City!!!

My word? Frankly, I struggled to come up with just one!  And though I’m still tossing it around a bit, the closest I’ve come to being able to define ‘my word’ is…solution-ize.

I am forever: thinking, reflecting, analyzing, doing–with most things my mind works in what I call a ‘4 step process’ : 1) analyze to understand 2) problem-solve to generate alternatives 3) “solution-ize” and 4) resolve or compromise. Oh, and I am so prone to over stimulating, lol.

Let me tell you, this can be kind of annoying–even to me– given that being 3 ‘thoughts’ ahead takes me out of the present.

Don’t get me wrong. There are times when this works and makes sense. However, there are plenty of times when it SO does not. And it causes me to miss or overlook the details, or focus too much on the future.

I think there is a serious need for me to think/do less, and just BE more. My goal–yes, I’m aware this may defeat the purpose of thinking less just a tiny bit–is to have a new word ‘define’ me . If defining it, means I will be more of it, then this is at least a step in the right direction. Right??  So, what is that new word, you ask?

If this is, in fact the case, then my “in progress word” is:

BE

…as in: present, in-the-now, at-hand, in-the-moment–fully and completely here and aware of the current stuff I am doing or experiencing.

With that, what is your word?!

by Victoria Anderson

Victoria is a Human Resources Professional, and currently works as a HR Manager for General Mills—Yoplait Division. Prior to joining General Mills, she spent 4 years as a HR Manager with Pepsi. Victoria received her Master’s Degree from the University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) in HR Management & Labor Relations; and her Bachelors of Science in Industrial/Organization Psychology from ISU.

For kicks, she enjoys spending traveling, writing, spending time with friends, and trying just about anything new. 

by Victoria Anderson

I am. Quite. Possibly. An expert on this subject matter.

A few quick keystrokes on dictionary.com results in 8 definitions for irony. Attraction? A cool 6. For purposes of this blog, let’s go with the definitions listed below.

Irony: an objectively or humorously sardonic utterance, disposition, quality, etc.

Attraction: Physics. The electric or magnetic force that acts between oppositely charged bodies, tending to draw them together.

Attraction–like leadership, love, or the definition of ‘good pizza’–happens to be quite subjective.

I like to think of it as a hazy, whimsical, feeling that is wickedly unique in its meaning to each of us. Ask 10 people what “attraction” is, and you are all but guaranteed 10 different answers. Go ahead, test me if you must.

Attraction is trippy. Intangible. Great. But, oh, so different for us all. It’s like trying to define love and, let’s be honest, can one really define an emotion? I think not.

What makes it ironic, you ask? Well, primarily because both the cause and effect can be rather absurd. I mean, how many emotions are equally capable of making one feel F-ing great, or like you having the Worst Week Ever.??

In worst case scenarios, or what I like to call ‘twitterpation gone wild’, poor, sadistic, lovesick puppies experience equal doses of these emotions at the same time. I, unfortunately, can not empathize with you folks on such matters. However, I am but short walk to your computer away, if you need a shoulder to cry on.

I, on the other hand, am more apt to experience the Irony of Lack of Attraction. Yes, my friends, you guessed right. This is the syndrome that causes one to meet Mr. Fantastic as A Friend. Repeatedly.

Or sometimes to be, a mere 2% of the time, Ms. Fantastic as A Friend–yes, it happens to the best of us. Don’t get me wrong. Mr. Fantastic as A Friend is not remotely as awful as suffering from unrequited infatuation. Quite the contrary, as it is usually the beginning of pretty cool friendships. Nonetheless, Lovestruck Bambi it does not one make. Did I mention I am SO ready to be Bambi? Sigh…. But, I digress….

How one defines “attraction” can and will vary based on a infinite number of variables: personality, situation, experiences, similarities, values…..you get the picture. However, there will always, always, always be one common denominator. Chemistry.

Attraction is a random S.O.B. One can almost never predict who will cause powerful stirrings in the belly. And one can never predict when this almighty and elusive, but no less powerful and delicious, feeling will be aroused by Chemistry.

And this, is the Irony of it all.

You see, one may never know exactly when they will be struck by the lightening of attraction. In fact, we’re lucky if both magnetically charged bodies are struck, equally and at the same time.

But, Chemistry does. And, unfortunately, that sardonic hussy ain’t talking .

by Victoria Anderson

Victoria is a Human Resources Professional, and currently works as a HR Manager for General Mills—Yoplait Division. Prior to joining General Mills, she spent 4 years as a HR Manager with Pepsi. Victoria received her Master’s Degree from the University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) in HR Management & Labor Relations; and her Bachelors of Science in Industrial/Organization Psychology from ISU.

For kicks, she enjoys spending traveling, writing, spending time with friends, and trying just about anything new. 

Have you ever witnessed two ducks get into a fight? Yeah, well, neither have I.

Why do I ask? Well, I’m “reading” a book in true VA fashion (audio style) which is turning out to be quite significant for me. I recently finished a chapter that detailed a pivotal lesson, in such a humorous fashion, I simply had to share.

According to Eckhart Tolle in A’ New Earth’, the aforementioned duck brawl would go something like this…

After two ducks get into a fight (which apparently never lasts very long) they separate and float off in opposite directions. Each will then flaps their wings vigorously a few times to release surface energy built-up during the fight. After flapping, they each float off peacefully as if nothing ever happened.

Now, if the ducks had a human mind, this little tiff would be kept alive loooooong after the fight ended. How you say? By the uniquely human tendency, and ability to, well…think. If the ducks were human, their thoughts after the fight might go something like this…

“I don’t believe what he just did!” ” He came within 5 inches of me.” “He thinks he owns this pond!!” “She has no consideration for my personal space.” “I will never trust him/her again!!” “I’m not going to stand for this.” “I will teach him a lesson he won’t forget.” And on, and on, and on….their mind would keep spinning their story, thinking about it days…months…even years later.

Unfortunately, most of us are stuck in this thought pond, or know a couple folks that live their life this way. For us humans, these thoughts are driven and kept alive by our EGO. And, as far as the body is concerned, the fight is still continuing as long as you leave them on ‘repeat’. You see the energy generated by these negative thoughts–in turn generates negative emotions–which in turn then generates more negative thoughts.

No event ever ends in such a mind, to the point that the event becomes a part of ones identity…kept alive by thoughts…aka the ego…or the mini me. I mean, how many friendships and/or relationships have ended because of ego?? In other words, a failure of folks to flap their wings, shake it off, walk it out….you get the gist…

What is the lesson you ask?

Well, it tis all about letting go of resentment, guilt and perceived grievances. In other words, emotional and mental baggage. At the end of the day, we are all giving this whole navigating life thing, our very best go. And to err is human…and always divine.

At the end of the day, all we can ever truly be defined by is the present moment. Everything else is but a story…about the past or the future…kept alive by our thoughts, which are generated by our ego. If we are not careful, these stories (our stories) can become a part of our identity. That is to say, the stories become how we define ourselves….and just as critically, how we engage (or not) with others.

Be gentle with yourself and others…In other words…Flap your wings folks….vigorously if need be.

…don’t say I never learnt you nothing…;-)

by Victoria Anderson

Victoria is a Human Resources Professional, and currently works as a HR Manager for General Mills—Yoplait Division. Prior to joining General Mills, she spent 4 years as a HR Manager with Pepsi. Victoria received her Master’s Degree from the University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) in HR Management & Labor Relations; and her Bachelors of Science in Industrial/Organization Psychology from ISU.

For kicks, she enjoys spending traveling, writing, spending time with friends, and trying just about anything new.